Olives Olives...? What are you people thinking? What we thought: Tantalus: Okay, what's wrong with this story?: First man finds an olive tree. He is starving to death and sees the small berries growing from it. With his hunger, he takes the chance to save his own life, and gently picks one from the tree with his hand. He holds it, hoping that it will not poison him. He eats it, chews it, and tastes it for the first time. The taste is so awful, that his eyes tear up, and he pukes on the dirt ground. Fifteen seconds passes. Nothing happens. Five more seconds pass. The man dies. Yes, that's right. HE DIED because Olives are poison. Why else would they taste so bad? And why the hell do we still eat them? It's in basic nature people! Whatever tastes sweet, is NOT POISON. Whatever tastes like death...is DEATH. Who on earth picked up an olive for the first time, tasted it, and went: "MM this is GREAT. I can feel my tongue shrink! I think I'll go put this on a pizza and ruin it." Olives have no place in this world. Better yet, to give you a better hint that olives suck, THEY COME IN A CAN. Anything that comes in a can, especially olives, has a good chance of being undelicious. Speaking of which, who ever heard of a food that's BLACK? They don't even look real. They LOOK like poison! Who the hell would eat something that looks like that? Olives suck. They are poison, and should be avoided at all costs. So, why do we eat something, realize that it tastes like shit...and then KEEP EATING IT. People still continue to eat this shit. You know who else eats their own shit? Dogs. The only difference is that dogs don't eat olives. They prefer to eat their own shit over olives. He's got the right idea. Eat shit rather than olives. I'd rather stick a nail in my big toe and kick a wall as hard as I can before eating an olive. They are evil, as shown. Randomizer: Even while being stuck in camp I still have a deep hatred for olives. I first remembered how bad they were when I was walking through the woods and stepped in some deer shit. If you didn’t already know, the two look almost exactly alike. As Tantalus discussed before, olives look like shit. In the olden days they used them for oil, but now that we can get oil from whales, flaming Iraqis, and convert your poop into methane gas. We no longer have a need to burn olives. At the end of the day, we can all agree, olives truly do suck. WAIT, WTF? Olives are good. FFF that Tantalus: Extremely Non-Duppable. Randomizer: Extremely Duppable.