The Dining Room (A "Classic Eatery") [Bloomfield Ave. in Montclair, NJ] Today I felt like trying something different. A few blocks away looks like a nice inexpensive place to have lunch. What I thought: Tantalus This place seemed quite nice and inviting. I walked in and it looked like a god damn fancy restaurant. I was intimidated since looking at the menu outside I got the impression it was cheap. Oh well. I sat my ass down anyway. I got the menu and my soda....in a giant martini glass... WTF!? Where's my goddamn ice!? Oh well. I looked through the menu and they had a lot of choices. I felt like a chicken wrap, so I requested such a chicken wrap. What I got was not a chicken wrap. What I got was a disaster and a failure of good food. Sure looks good, right? I thought the same thing. I was like oh MAN I'm ready to stuff my pie hole. I was right in a way, as it did stuff my pie hole, and fucking clogged it. Looks can be deceiving, I know. What I showed you is the see, now I will show you the taste: And no, those are NOT rice krispies treats. The god damn wrap was so dry, I couldn't even wash it down with a martini glass full of coke. I was pissed. Reaching for some fries, which were stale and hard, I managed to clog my throat and choke to death. I was wondering why it was so dried up, and realised that they drained all the fat. THOSE ASSHOLES! I needed something to make it greasier, so I asked for some ranch dressing to soak this shit, and the waitress was like: "No. We don't have any. You want some caeser dressing instead?" NO! I don't want any fucking god damn caesar dressing! I want my ranch! What the hell is this place? How can they have no ranch?? What the FUCK! I was totally disappointed. It ruined my day. Stupid healthy place. Pissed me off. Who calls a place The Dining Room and serves you plates of bullshit. Only one thing left to do after eating there. Tantalus: Non-Duppable.